Dating and Preparing for Marriage (Part 3) – Qualities of a Good Spouse

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1. Humility
2. Humility – 1. The quality of being humble or having a lowly opinion of oneself; meekness, lowliness, humbleness: the opposite of pride or haughtiness.
3. God resists the proud — you should resist marrying them too (Jam 4:6).
4. Find a man that has a high opinion of himself and you have likely found a man who has a low opinion of you (Luk 18:9).
5. A proud man thinks too highly of himself to admit when he is wrong.

(i)     He will therefore get angry when confronted about his behavior (Pro 21:24).

(ii)   He will be one to stir up strife (Pro 28:25) and contention (Pro 13:10).

(iii) If you don’t want to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life, then don’t marry a proud person.

1. God will give grace to and lift up the humble (Jam 4:6,10; 1Pe 5:6).
2. Wisdom (sound judgment)
3. Wisdom – 1. a. Capacity of judging rightly in matters relating to life and conduct; soundness of judgment in the choice of means and ends; sometimes, less strictly, sound sense, esp. in practical affairs: opp. to folly.
4. Wisdom is held in very high regard by God (Pro 4:5-7).
5. Principal adj. – 1. First or highest in rank or importance; that is at the head of all the rest; of the greatest account or value; foremost
6. Wisdom is more valuable than wealth (Pro 8:11; Pro 16:16).
7. Wisdom is foundational for building a good house (family) (Pro 24:3).
8. A wise man is a strong man (Pro 24:5).

iii.    Good communication skills

1. Does the person expresses their feelings well? (Pro 27:19)
2. Do they listen well?

(i)     Is the person primarily interested in himself? (Pro 18:2)

(ii)   Are they swift to hear, or speak? (Jam 1:19)

(iii) Do they hear you out before answering? (Pro 18:13)

1. Do they receive reproof well?

(i)     A good man will accept reproof and be grateful for it (Pro 15:31; Pro 13:18; Psa 141:5).

(ii)   A person who hates reproof is a stupid fool (Pro 12:1; Pro 10:17).

1. Selflessness
2. Is the person concerned with the welfare of others above himself? (1Co 10:24; Phi 2:4)
3. Do they seek their own pleasure and wellbeing above that of others? (1Co 13:5; Phi 2:20-21)
4. Diligence (hard working)
5. Diligence – 1. Constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent application and endeavour; industry, assiduity.
6. Is the person a hard worker or slothful in his business? (Rom 12:11)
7. Does he give his all to everything he puts his hand to? (Ecc 9:10; Col 3:23)
8. Or does he always find an excuse as to why he can’t do the work that needs done? (Pro 20:4; Pro 22:13)
9. Is everything he owns falling apart, either literally or figuratively? (Pro 24:30-34; Ecc 10:18)
10. A hardworking, diligent man will go places in life (Pro 22:29).
11. On the other hand, a lazy sloth will be impoverished (Pro 6:9-11; Pro 19:15).
12. It is not only important for a man to be diligent — a virtuous woman is a hard-working woman (Pro 31:10-31).